Funny site passed on to me by John.. This is the output (translated from THIS VERY BLOG!!!)
..
Ok, got y all worked up for nothing.. it doesnt output Anything & hey, look, I dont feel like trying again. Anywho, the output I saw generated when the url was passed on to me was quite hillarious

On other news..
The Bourne Supremacy is NICE :)
Im getting myself some FREE posters from Vespasius.. You know, the toilet poster ppl :)

& I might me falling apart.. I think :/
I need some time on my own
but its not likely I'm getting it any time soon since my family needs their grief process too.. & pitty for anti social me, theirs is quite social.. And ofcourse, I'm only anti social when it comes to my own problems.. When it comes to anything else (like helping others) I'm social as hell & ... But this time its just too hard to manage, too hard to stay sane!

I want to go to bed early today..
A failed effort ofcourse, but still.. I 'm trying

Mage was Nice
We all had fun..
And the scenario didnt get into to way (:s)

Sleep now!

Emotional Chess

The game one has to win to be able to talk with a person about his problems / feelings / emotions
Some ppl are better players than others, in both roles

I need to get outa here
I'm silently going insane
My mom thinks I should stay in out of respect
I've been staying in out of respect to her all week long
I AM going insane
this is really bad for my mood & what not

I cant do anything, I dont have any privacy
I wanna do something and be able to be alone doing something if needed

maddening

we read the cards.. Im glad its over.. Liquid Agony!


I HATE being forced into Other peoples ways of mourning! Wich is exactly what I've been going trough the whole last week. No space whatsoever for my own process..

So far the funeral
I'm glad its over
I was really happy & sometimes surprised at all my friends that came! Altough the last person to enter was the bigest suprise of all! I hadnt expected Dorien to be there but I'll probably be happy for the comming days just because of it :)

I'll write something about all that later on

Omg!
I just read a BME article.. (check link) A follow up on Todd Bertrang being put to jail..

The American Justice System is an OUTRAGE!
Justice like that propagates the conformity that drives people to all want to look alike to the extremety of cosmetic surgery. (Conformity vs "body mods" but pro cosmetic surgery.. Isnt that a body mod too??)

The things they do, tricks they do to put and keep a man in jail!! Outrageous! Even to the extent of child porn allegations. Allegations a person has to prove himself innocent of. Whatever happened to innocent untill proven different??
"Guilty until proven Innocent" Justice you say?

DAMN I LIKE EUROPE!

Sow

The funeral is in some hours.. yay
Washed my dreadz for the ocasion

ROD meeting was nice.. Nice mood
short visit to Nega..
My social skilz werent all that.. I just wasnt up to the bullshit. I just wasnt there, I didnt feel like it..

Talking to dirkie about the JH..

& Sleep now

I finally had the courage of informing some online ppl, like my class (board) and the WFRP guys (EMail)

Been getting loads of smses from unexpected ppl.. I'm glad my cell had this 60 something messages memory! Nice tough to hear from them!

My mom found my black *replace by correct word for nice shirt like thingy with buttons in te front middle, all way down* in the winter clothing (She put it there accidently) So I dont need to go shopping for one :) YAY

My friends are dumb.. They think I'm listening but instead I'm blogging.. They re telling me song names & crap.. The only way I ever hear a word is when Stitch pokes me.. Or when he goes German "Du bist was du ist".. Yeaha

Stitch just read this.. They re all poking me now :s
braindead I fear :s

Sleepy time
We played Bo*poke*mberman earlier.. was amusing!
Warcraft 3 failed tough :/
Movie too

Stitch doesnt know the difference between a normal & a cross link cable
& Dirkie is talking about penetratin cool chicks in informatica

Du riechst so gut
I dont think they understand much what I'm typing
they dont really say mu*poke*ch

Dirkie says Penetration and Fit Blieben
Stitch says Schwanz Blazen
Kneth isnt very talkative.. I think he s doing it all :s

Sleep

Funeral of my Dad
This Saturday @ 11.15
Yall may come along :) :/



My future prospects are .. different with whats happened

I always planned not to stay @ home too long, with my dad & mom around.. To have my own life/place.. So they could have their peace & fun.. On their own.. But now that my dad isnt around anymore, asin alive.. I'll probably stay home longer..

Completely different :S

The worst part is constantly rediscovering my dad is Dead.. I have fun for a while, do some shite (Stitchy was here, fun!) and then one moment, lightning strikes & I remember My Dad Is Dead!

My dad, My father, ..
Incredibly hard

Sleep!

My views on life are about to get a whole lot less interesting (yes, that actually IS possible) since the next weeks I'll be spending my time by bitching about whatever

Mostly about the bad luck my dad had these last days!
There was so much I was doing with him.. Computers, Linux, Drawing, Interhuman Observations, .. I constantly had interesting talks and discussions, in the 30 minutes he drank his koffie before going to bed.. To calm his toughs..
Or when I get home late at night and normally I would find my dad sitting here by the comps, doing something
Those will be the hardest time.. When the others have gone to bed & I'm sitting here, alone.. where normally my dad would still be here.

*cries*

this all is very Surreal!
incredible

The unimaginable has happened..
My dad died this morning..

unbelievable..

had an emotional breakdown today, as expected
I had Rein to help me with it all.. wich I'm very gratefull for! I was down the drain.. Need for affection.. (back to the 14yo)

painfull
I had some interesting conclusions tough

I added a new Blog to my account.. Its called Dgn's Cravings because sometimes an idea hits you but you just dont have the time to act on it.. Well, this is my personal solution to it all

I'll be linkin & templating it soon but thats just too much today.. I need to sleep .. & think :/

Ok, so I dont really feel like bloggin Big..
Rather bloggin SMALL

I had a nice weekend.. Was the Youth House thingy.. we had fun

The homecomming wasnt nearly as nice tough!
My dad had a brain bleeding something. He busted an artery (or something like that) I know the exact thing in Dutch but hey, I ve got better things on my mind than figuring out whats it all called to put it in my blog. Anyhow, its in the speaking part of his brain, he already had surgery for the busted artery and is going to have other surgery soon to make sure it doesnt happen again (he had 2 risky ones, one repaired now) Lets hope this all doesnt end badly :(
Spent the evening talking to my mom (upon arival) and eating some and chatting & calling some friends......
I was quite happy about some ppls reactions, except for one who didnt really seem interested.. Other priorities.. why the fuck not..

Watched some futurama.. The addiction is heavy tough.. I feel like spendin the night with 'em :)
Gotta get some sleep tough.. I'm really tired :/ & I have to get up at 11.30 to visit my dad at the hospital at 1..

Somewhere I might confess to myself that I dont like the idea of going to bed coz I'll have to face some demons there :( In a way, I'm having the scare of my life.. And the bad thing about it is that I cant just relativate it all in saying that in the end, all ll be well again because I'm just slightly too smart to not realise that just isnt true. An interesting yet unwelcome feeling.. On the other hand, isnt it always like that :/

I need to Wake the Fuck up & Smell the Adrenaline
coz I'm not at all productive & its ANNOYING me IMMENSLY
Aarghl

& now.. Sleepah :/

I'm glad that its Ravenloft tomorrow tough

I have NO clue WhatSoEver what causes it (looked at it the full 5secs.. It was very hard to keep my mind on it that long - yeah)

I'll look at it later

I just discovered my blogger template is pooped.. The low part doesnt look ok - too much FFin space down below :/ Annoying