I am on a mental high
adrenaline coursing trough my body, widely awake at an hour I d rather be sleeping. But this piece of shit exam still lies before me less than 2 hours ahead.
My trust in succeding this loathesome test is lower than ever yet I should be more confident since time does give me strength.. or I learned it X times already, no reason to fail now.. If it werent that I had failed all before this one.. Kind of the same over & over, no?

I now again understand useless shit as how to hand code a floating point decimal according to official standards, the inner workings of an alu en in a broader scape, the whole datapad. I can even tell you what hamming is & wich bits are off if you tell my the byte string. Its utterly useless & just plain boring, yet I now can
Still I do not trust in my chances of succeeding, this fucking piece of shit exam!

I feel like puking.. proverbially ofcourse

I should study some more so that I can zone out and take a shower before leaving home.. But Id rather throw this new and beloved Ice Tea glass out of the window.. Yet I will & I wont (Study & Throw)

On to a new and utterly bothering day - to normalfolk standards at least

AARGHL LOATHESOME SHITE!
I HATE IT!!




Any result to this exam & exam period will only be relief and nothing more or less..
Yes I might feel happy / dissapointed / .. but the main and all consuming feeling wil be .. RELIEF!

And now its time for the last (and useless? I cant think this way, Its Usefull & I need to keep up.. Keep the goddamn faith, but where the HELL do I keep finding the strength year after year to feed this self chosen torture of uselessness.. Anywho, Lets not get depressed or loose courage in any way.. Only 5 more hours & I'll never have to take this exam again!) studying effort..!