My ticket to being Filthy Rich.. I only need to send it in :D

Hey Michael!

It's me, Goeffry! Remember? We met at Mariah Carey's coke dealer's place. How are things going over at Miramax? Oh, that's fantasmo! So, I wanted to turn you on to this project I'm repping. Between you and me, it's going to be a huge Rober Ebert mindfuck! I mean, this is going to be the biggest thing since “Waterworld”! So like, squint your mind, have a drink, sit back, and picture this:

This movie is “The Insatiable Cheerleader” meets “Schindler's List” meets “Shrek”. With a little bit of “Showgirls” thrown in for good measure! It's a love story about a girl who meets a she-male. Then fists her. Then there's a twist involving a hydrogen bomb. But it's ALSO an action film - with a clairvoyant janitor, a two naked old people with nipple rings chase, and three climaxes in Graceland, Hoboken, and on top of a bedridden 800 pound man. It has action, romance, and SEX. There are lots of steamy love scenes in the trunk of a rickshaw involving a diamond chaise lounge. It's sensuous, and coldly erotic. We felt the movie also needed an ethnic subtext, so there's a small part or two for a colorful goomba. But really, this is a family movie. It's about one family's struggle to overcome some really tough thing and then a heartfelt lesson is learned. The ending has a mass suicide, a song and dance number, a “Twilight Zone”-like surprise and a heartwarming sense of spine-tingling terror. We don't have a script yet, but we have a great duet with Cher and Rammstein. We think Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lopez and ME would be perfect for this movie! Maybe Sir Anthony Hopkins can have a two-minute cameo as the Academy-award winning English guy that gives the movie integrity! We call it “Cut-Rate Sequel”. It'll make $500,000,000 domestically and $500,000,000 internationally. Oh – and this movie will test really well with “Urban“ baby boomers.