omg.. Agony
Hmm.. coffie for my Blistered soul!!
I'm sick.. :/ Simply the flu but still..

Im doing my new Linux.. A gentoo & am now at the stage where I install a SHITLOAD of software (part one).. The next 24h will be filled with compiling & downloading.. yay
My former linux is broken.. One of my disks crashed and now its cripple. It was the disk with my /var, /tmp and swap on.. The tmp & swap pose no problem, but the /var missing is a BITCH!
Luckely it happened just now when I'm changing to Gentoo.. Otherwise there d be a whole lot of cursing right now :D
Ofcourse Id rather have my Slack box fully working during the transition period.. Im not changing my home disk till everythings ok anyhow..

Its annoying not being able to relate all the wierd stuff hapening to my dad.. Its agonising. We understood and had the same & right background.. Now that he s gone im left alone with all that. Now when wierd shite / funny shite happens (several times during my install today) I'm laughin here all alone.. One of the many moments where it kicks in :/

The worst form of torture is self chosen.. Really.. Its amazing what a person can put himself trough.. I'm deciding to stop putting myself trough it all.. Ofcourse, its normal I didnt decide this before, since every form needs its time.. Anywho, Im only trading it for another kind.. pf

I had a dark moment yesterday..
I have lots of dark moments to come..
Havent we all :)
pf

Had an interesting chat with a friend some days ago.. His words gave me hope altough they went against all I had concluded.. I dont really believe he made the right diagnose..

Spoke to Anne today.. Interesting! It helped my mood. Im actually immensely happy we talked! .. she s the person I can relate to most right now.. Because I know she knows the feeling and because I shared some of her feeling back when the trees were younger. Im really glad we talked

Sometimes I feel like telling people to go kill themselves.. This feeling is not new to me tough I had left it behind me.. Now that i'm older I understand the reasons better.. But understanding doesnt help the fact that I want to scream it in their ears as if that ll get it to their brain better

Dark Moods

I do think blogging helps
tough I hope in a way no one reads this.. The annonimity of Internet.. or is it :)

Hmm.. Emerging in two terminals.. why not. I'm installing tinycobol to my box.. I hope it proves a good Cobol compiler - Yeah, going retro @ school :D I hope the compiler proves OK.. Further installs (emacs & ..) will have to wait :)

How hatefull it is to wake up to your own soap

And now I'm off bloggin..
sayonara