Eskobar - Someone New

So is it goodbye?
Is it time to set you free?
Is it time to let it fly?
Is it time to let it bleed

We used to take turns
To cover up the pain
Deep below it burns
And the fellin' still remains

You're gonna find someone new
I really hope you do
'Cause I love you
And the sun will come on thru,
It's gonna shine for you
'Cause I adore you

Yes we gave it a try
But maybe for too long
Out of every sorrow
Another day will dawn

You're gonna find someone new
I really hope you do
'Cause I love you
And the sun will come on thru,
It's gonna shine for you
'Cause I adore you

And the road travels on
But I'm still near you
In my life, like a song
I will still hear you
Still

Sun will shine for you
'Cause I adore you...

A great song, always reminds me of breaking up with a Gril I still love very much. Yes, I broke up with her.. Why? Because I saw no future for us :/ We were different persons on a certain level and we were both missing out on life because eachother. And I dont regret my choice! She has a nice BF now (he doesnt really seem to like me that much tough :)) and she seems more happy than I ever could have made her :) So YAY for that & YAY for this song!

I went saunaing today
and I barely slept
and I decided to buy Weerwolven & the Machiavelli expansion tomorrow (viva 999 games)
and I still have loads of work
and I'm going to the theatre tomorrow
and I really didnt sleep enough last night
and BLAH :)

The second my iPod is finished copying the stuff to my bro's HD i'm going offline to continue working

Sayonara!
^.^

yeah
gotta work for RoD
Mucho
so cya :)

Drank 2 senseos earlier :)
coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Tomorrow Sauna time :)
YAY

Had a succesfull reinstall of Stitch s pc earlier today..
It is now Totally W2K :) YAY & I must say, it runs Smooootha :)
lol
No, really, its amazing!
& Now stitch ll Finaly be able to do Java, iPod and all the other things he loves on a more performant comp :) YAY

Now Sleepy time
^_^

Off to bed :)

Nice Deviant Art action.. Sending holiday cards to strangers in a hospital..

As I told someone today..
"The worst about writing is the risk of not being read"
He tought it deep so I tought I d blog it :)

Sleeeeeeeeeep
-.-

I had a very powerfull moment earlier today on the train. In Gent a girl with nice dreadies got on the train.. I noticed her and she seemed to notice me too.. Looks were exchanged. Tension was building.
One moment she decides to unzip the collar of her pullover unveiling her neck, masjestic in its nudity. THE single most erotic event in my life so far! The world started turning as blood rushed trough my body.. Incredible!
But ofcourse I didnt go up to her or whatever, no, I'm too shy in a way.. or to scared to get dissapointed.. She might have been prety young too.. Thinking that I felt old :s
This is offcourse only how I experienced it all & .. She was probably just wondering why I still had my vest on while fiddling with the iPod in my lap and what book I was reading..
Anywho.. I wrote three haikus as about those moments.. Written 3 5 3 instead of the normal 5 7 5 because of comment found on this site (tnx to Kaishi) And I must say.. There s more power in 'em because of the shortness.. I started 5 7 5 and .. it just didnt feel right..
These poems should not be viewed as one big poem but as 3 different haikus talking about different parts of the situation.
I'm verry happy with the result, kinda proud even!
Anywho, enough crap, here they are.. With their respective Deviant art titles and links!



Meeting

Facing seats
Returned praising looks
Tension Builds

Moment

Covered neck
Dazzlingly unveiled
Erotic

Backwash

Reluctance
Countless chances blown
Tardy regret

By me

Cajou - Un mot magique

Il y a un mot que me emporte ailleurs
Ce mot enchante me donne des ailles
me dépose sur le cote d une rivière

le courant vite m emporte
des poissons me servent de compagnie
un drôle de voyage

En dessous de tout ça
avec ses contours tout ronde
celle que le temps les lui a donnée
un cajou blanc

mon mot magique

Im having an inspirated mood.. This is one of the results

14yo Bully busted for tattooing 13yo

WHAT?
isnt this a bit much :s
incredible, the things happening these days :/

Damn is is THAT late already? :(

phew

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
-.-

Start spreading the news
I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it, New York, New York
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
And make a brand new start of it
New York, New York
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

New York, New York.. One of those songs that always gets me Happy :D These Little town blues :)

DAMN I want to see Ghost in the Shell 2 in the cinema :)
Its just one of those movies one has to see several times before getting the whole story!
I NEED to see that one at the theaters!
Having read the book, the story isnt a big surprise to me, the backbone is still Massamune Shirow, but the story was heavilly adapted. And its ok, its a good addaptation. It lays a heavier focus on the filosophical side. And digs deeper into some other stuff too. Ofcourse they had to cut out some of the original story lines, but its all OK. I feel like re reading GitS :) So I might do that for the next couple of days..
Im still glad I payed that lot of money for that book!
I hope they use the rest of the material in the book to make GitS 3 & 4 because thats what it ll take to have the whole GitS story in movies!
And a small one for the "Rise of the Robots" joke :D hihi

Great Great Great!
(So Vi, if you read this.. Whatcha doin the first of December :p)

Im havin a movies period..
Went to see AVP yesterday - Nice! 90 minutes felt like 15, that cant mean a bad movie! Ofcourse some parts are quite.. When making such a movie, consensusses have to be made, you cant respect everything AND keep a nice, fast paced action movie like this one.. But still.. Nice! AND :) They creditted Giger wich is more than certain Alien films did in the theaters! And Resident Evil 2 today *Goes to get his Senseo* .. Entertaining! ALl n all an OK movie. Ofcourse there are scenes where you dont have to think too much & better just dont think at all, but that doesnt get into the way of the entertainment, because, sometimes a NoBrainer can be amusing too :D (like "Zombies!!" they have "Its a nobrainer as subtitle") At times it actually reminded me of Zombies A LOT :D at first they re killing zombies, and after a while, a helli apears & they have to go for it.. Thats abou what Zombies!! is about :D Much better anyway that the "Man Apart" I watched yesterday.. Damn I HATE Vin Diesel films! The dialogues and scenery are always such .. CRAP! A Really Crappy Movie to my opinion! So.. that makes 5 movies in 3 days.. Not bad :D

Listening to Reel Big Fish.. If only I had known that that kind of music was called SKA.. That kind I couldnt really define, that kind I liked since I heard it the first time all those years ago..

Im looking forward to the next Whatever, Bite me set! We already have some ideas and I can already tell its going to be another awsome set :D hihi

Playing Starwars - Jedi Knight Academy these days.. Its been long since I played a game & the mood was there so I'm giving it a shot.. Its nice to be playing something again!

And ofcourse working for RoD Scenario.. Wich reminds me.. Got some work to do :)

Sayonara!!
^_^

Sadness over a bird killed
but no sadness over a fish killed.
Lucky are those with voices.
Saitou Riokuu


The happy place thingy was from Shark Tale :D

Go to your happy spot, boss!

Yeah, your happy spot!!

Progress note.. Stitch failed staying awake - LOL

and.. its immensely nice that he s actually using his exercise school blog :)
hihi

Tired but happy

watched shark tale again.. So much to notice :D Gonna search me a list o insders about ST :)

Short post

St Maarten was nice
lotza money & chocolate & ..
and lotza painfull moments

My Contact ball is SO cool

I went to De Koer today, it was Nice.. Meeting up with my past!

Blah

Fields Of Rock

With Rammstein (and Therapy? and The Rasmus)
Im SO going :D
altough probably not due to exams

I Really hafta get to a doktor :s I want him to examine my coz Im going totally paranoid at the moment.. Annoying

I seem to have bit my lip several times & have now a very sore spot in my mouth, giving me annoying headaches

I'm also very tired at this moment :s wierd! I tried some deca tonight but the energy Just Wasnt There! Even the drive home was worrying (no alcohol / whatever whatsoever, mind you!)

I did some studying today :) Yay!
lets keep that up :D

and now to sleep my worries away :D
hehe

Nice Site

Americans telling the world they re sorry for Bush being reëllected
Nice

They still screw up the page width tough :/
30% .. :s They really are Big :D

Time for some Spanish Vacation Pics :D

I first put 'em in a table but the center layout looks (slightly) Nicer.. But I didnt even like that enough to keep it! Click the picture for a bigger small version (I downsized them 50% when putting them online & the previews here are 30% of the ones I put online, so go figure the original dimensions :D)


This is a very funny picture :) It shows me in the middle with the girl in my arms and my mate Vinny on the right side of the picture. We have no clue whatsoever who those people were but we just felt like taking pictures :) I really like this one because of the happy looks on the faces of the people who matter & the face of the guy on the left in contrast. It seems he didnt really like the idea of two dutch blokes scooping away his girl for a picture. The girl seems to enjoy it tough :) The picture was taken by John.. Great moment!!


Vinny doing his Undeniably EVIL cornholio imitation! Gotta love this guy :D


John & Vinny posing with Cyril, the cool waiter at our fav cocktail bar, the Havanah. The place where we got shitfaced several times and THIS guy was the fav waiter! An evil seemingly Metal minded dude.. Piercings, Tats, .. and just a Really cool guy :D


Me, Vinny, John, Caroline and Stijn at the Malibu Club. After some drinking at the Havanah and at the start of our club fun :) We bougt a Bigass bottle of wodka that night & totalled it the same night! Toooo nice :) We had a hell of a night! The picture was taken by Stijn and the idea came from Vinny who was just slightly more drunk than me and john (and stijn and caroline .. together :D) KARAJ! hehe We closed the malibu that night and met some nice french girls..


One of our evening Banquits.. With in the picture Me, John, Vinny, Dirk in the back and Deborah.. Hidden behind Vinny and John are Deborah's parents.. You have to admit that Deborah is a Nice looking girl :) We had loads of fun together.. Even later that night :) Me & John are (ofcourse) focusing on the ever so important eating! Not to be underestimated!! :D hihi Vinny on the other hand is giving us his Seductor look :D


The Old School :) Our Metal Spot in Platja D Aro :) The place where we discovered Absinth, where we got our much needed dosage of Rock (I really need that once in a while!! and it got John to know more Metal :)) The owner was a really cool guy, lotz of piercings, KICKASS tats and a great voice :) His grunts and moves were half the mood :D Great place! Really. We re probably sending the guy a postcard from here in belgium, the likes of what he helped us send from there.. I'll get the postcards up here so that you know what I mean :) Really evil concept for those who need to write cards tough hate it and have excelent social skillz (ie walking up to strangers asking them to write anything on your postcard)

It was a Great vacation! LOVELY
Watching these pics really solved my dark mood!! It Felt GOOD :)

I do hope nobody minds their likeness on my blog..
I should really sms Deb for her MSN or whatever.. I really feel like talking to her again :)

And now for some well deserved but as always short sleep!

..

hehe, I know you re all waiting for it :p so..
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! :D

Sayonara
^_^

Ooh & my laptop seems Spyware Infested :(

Mallaise

Pf
Im having a bad evening
I feel bad & I dont feel like having fun tomorrow night :(
bad!

I'm watching cheery (I know this word probably doesnt exist) stuff & it helps (Its cheering me up..) but.. :s

Had a talk with Kaishi & he tells me this is quite normal
As always its backtraceable to my dad.. I already tought so but he was able to give me an explenation supporting it

I'll probably go to school by car tomorrow.. Might be preferable considering where Sarah lives & ..

A Xlylomophone, lisa..

FUNNY thingy :D

gotta love The Enlgish :)

Hihi

I just discovered one more person who reads this heap o shit :D
funny! (you may comment once in a while you know :p)

And so I failed again..

Yesterday upon going to bed I decided to better my ways.. 2 hrs o sleep till the classes I HAD to attend :s pain! So I Decided to get to bed earlier after yesterday.. Starting today!
That was ofcourse without taking the meeting into account

The guys did seem pleasantly surprised at the contribution im working on..

I went out shopping today.. Bought two books.. Stephen King's first and second Dark Tower books..
They look.. challenging :) lol
I was told they are Very good, so, here I come! Its only 7 (seven, yes se7en) parts anyway..

I also bought myself tickets to go see plays, ehrm, a special student thingy (Triangel).. for Publiekstheater Gent and imediately spent one of the tickets on a piece about the sea, this wednesday.. Dont know the fuck about it, but im looking forward to it :D And to the next one, the 19th too :)

And some gas :/

Gretl seems to have had something for me today :s
I dont know what & am curious..
I mean.. she even saw me so, ..? :s

Viona called today, invited me to De Koer, promissed me she would sms me when she left, but its surely closed by now & still no sms :/ Nice :s

anywho, my soup s almost eaten..
I'm off to bed :D

Stitchy was here several times today for his iPod..
It was fun & interesting

We were testing his new iTalk.. with HILLARIOUS consequences :D hihi

Discovered some new (& better) iPod software.. Im even considering ditching iTunes.. Nice piece of software, but better seems to exist!!
Up till now I was using podUtil to copy stuff from my iPod.. Nice soft but it didnt clean the filenames so I was dissapointed! (it required a fee & since I'm still student..) Then I found copyPod.. wich I probably wont even test anymore since I now have sharePod (ideal for copying stuff to my HD) and EphPod (a GREAT substitute for iTunes, and FREE)
I'm really considering using ephPod from now on..
Here s the links.. EphPod and SharePod both great and free software (I can understand wanting to make a few bucks but if I could I d gladly donate some money to these guys.. Id rather send both of these guys €10 and never even expect to only hear of them than send it to other guys.. Its a strange attitude, I know, but I sympathise more with ppl who just put it online for the sake of mankind :D)

I wanted to be in bed by 1.. Its almost 4 again :( :'(
pf & tomorrow class @ 8.15.. I dont know if I'll make that!
I probably wont :'(
I'm SO screwing up my front and back end :(
pf
I need to do some work, was planning on it this weekend & I failed :(
pf
Painfull!!

now, Sleeeeeeeep (this is kinda catchy or so it seems, as I noticed while reading *someone*'s blog ;))

I had a semi productive day!

Im glad hard is drawing again.. That sexy losers mailing list is paying of :D (links on the left for those curious for what i'm talking about)
Omg its once again INSANELY EVIL :D
Daaaaamn that guy 's a Genious :)

Humor really is a thing appart.. its an art
Even today I noticed the great timing that sometimes makes it all
(I noticed it in Friends.. The timing is pure Genious there!)

Had my gentoo emerge the world today too.. Lucrative thingy (i hope) Still got work to do tough, my alsa wont cooperate in giving me sound tough the kerel now supports my card.. Ah & .. I now have 2.6.9-R2.. Just when I installed 2.6.9 yesterday AARGHL!

I installed perCobol on my laptop :(
Its better than spending 200 euros on a wLan
tough we WILL have that one day!!

I discovered a great site with lots of free old movies & stuff.. Evil!

& I dont understand why I cant get my IMDB search thing added in Firefox!!!

and now sleep

Sayonara
^_^

Recompiled kernel
configure ALSA tomorrow
YAY! Ive got Sound :D

& a brand new splash image for grub.. Digital Angel :) yaay

Come to think of it

My dad would have had such a laugh at the aforementioned list
He was always laughing at my constant compiling since I got Gentoo
:)
If only he were still alive :(

What your choice of Linux distribution says about you

At the moment I'm using Gentoo..

Gentoo

* If John Wayne had been a Linux user, he would have used Gentoo. Gentoo users are pioneers, people who like to live close to the metal, and don't mind hurting themselves on sharp objects. Some feel that Gentoo users are simply lazy louts who always want to have a ready excuse for why they are not doing constructive things with their computer, other than compiling or recompiling the latest kernel, app, or hapless passerby. The official Gentoo motto is, "If it moves, compile it."

Who s John Wayne :s
Anywho, Call me a Pioneer, Metalhead and Sado Massochist :D LOL
Have I recompiled YOU lately? :D hehe


Also, I liked using Slackware, so lets see that that tells you about me..

Slackware

* This distribution is for those that don't care for the overhead of configuration interfaces, and have a great appetite for raw text files. No need for dependency checks, since they always know what they are doing. Especially important to Slackware users are the bragging rights of using the oldest distribution still in development. Plus the fact that it has been supported by the same diety all that time, Patrick J. Volkerding. Newbies should be cautious around Slackware users, because they will cut you none.

YEAH! Viva Raw Text configuration!!! YEAH! (I feel I learn most this way..)
And Watch me as I Cut You None! :D

Always funny to read stuff like this :)

God's just an imaginary friend for grownups

Nice quote from .. that movie I just watched :s Dont ask me the title :)

Games thing was nice! Missed the Machiavelli expansion by an inch, the WC extension isnt out yet, Zombies!! was indredibly expensive & I'm getting Lunch Money trough a friend.. Ah & the Doom game isnt printed yet.. In a month or so..

But still, nice day!
Food (Bali restaurant) was Nice! Much choice, much food, ..

Tomorrow is my Cobol day :) YAY
If all goes well I'll be able to complete the exercises in one day - YAY
if.. :D

Had an interesting chat with dirkie about the stuff bothering me at the moment.. Im in a quite emotional period :( Ken eavesdropped in on part of it.. I think he probably got part of it wrong, but there s no talking sense into him these days anyway, so.. :/

The computer room problem (me being unable to concentrate and him not wanting to acknowlege my problems of even give way to a solution in the slightest way) really weighs on me.. Things easilly weigh on me these days.. (normally nothing does!) What can I say

We just ordered tickets to the next WT concert in Gent..

My fav fruit is blogging again..

Blahb

Anywho, like I end every blog I write before going to bed..
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

'_'

So..

Yesterday I went to Hannah & Evi s play.. Nice!!
had interesting chat about the movie plans I have with John..
for wich ive been looking up stuff about government funding & i'm quite sure we can apply :)

Today I went to the Night of the Proms.. Nice! Shaggy was ok, Joe Cocker was Nice, James Brown was an act to Remember (!) As I said to my mom.. I really wanted to see James Brown! The only other artist I waant to see badly is Barry White.. But sadly enough he's dead already :'(

And then shit went sour :/ The bus was too cold, The movie was downright painfull (bout a woman with 2 kids losing her husband :/) and after that we tried starting the car & it wouldnt start :/ AGONY Tough Thomas brought te resque - luckilly!!

There s only one thing I find hard to understand :/ Howcome I couldnt get to Tom, Dirk and Kenneth!! I called them at least 10 times (each) & none of em picked up their fuckin cells! UN FUCKIN BELIEVABLE! I mean, Dirkie ALWAYS picks up his cell & the ONE time I REALLY need ANY of them to pick up their cell.. None of them do! THE FUCKIN WHATEVER! Its really beyond my comprehension! .. I really dont understand! Maybe because I was calling with my moms cell, but still.. If someone calls you 10 times, you normally pick up the fuckin phone, no? Figuring its urgent & shite!
Last time I was playing Kenneth called me, not wanting to ineterrupt the game I didnt answer my phone but when he called for the 3rd time, I answered just because he might have been in any trouble or whatever! But :s and of all ppl, Tom & Dirkie, whom I tough I always could depend on.. This is REALLY wierd.. to me :s

Trough the evening & day, with all that happened & so on, it once more became undeniable that my dad is dead :/ This morning when I woke up it was the first tought on my mind.. I was an hour or so in "slightly awake" state & it didnt leave my mind for a sec.. & then later on with the whole car crap :s Painfull :'(

But anywho.. Sleep now!
tomorrow games thing in holland, gotta be at JCs place at 9.30 to depart, so.. SLEEP NOOOOW :D

Sayonara
^_^

Upset.. I find myself VERY upset with someone. She probably doesnt even realise this, neither would she guess or even understand why but still - the feeling is there!
And from when I had it before.. Its something that burns all the bridges. Once I have it, there s no getting rid of..

I talked to Ashes yesterday!
We talked about death.. I told her about my dad (I had waited because I didnt think such news would do her good in the week she was having her lil darling) It flet good talking to her about it!

I'm updating my iPod some.. I had some mps waiting around.. 453 are now being uploaded - yay

Stitch is buying an iPod too.. exactly the same - yay
I was still able to surprise him with one of the easy things about an iPod.. YAY :D

Im so glad my samba is working again!!!!!!!! I missed my music
now just to get the sound & crap working
.. First some java & cobol!!

I figured out the cobol.el.gz riddle, but now it just crashed as it loads :(

anywho - YAY

Ooh.. I learned today that Andries started blogging - check the friends list & that my fav fruit on the web picked up her blog too - YAY :D

Sleepy time :D

Emacs fun

yeah!!
*puke*
they really have good info's *rolleyes*
Got stuck with a .el.gz file I desperately need to use
& now I need to figure out what the fuck that file is, how I use it & where I need to put it.. and how & ...

samba is up again tough

I so need to get that all in line so that I can FINALLY get to my school work
I feel like progging Cobol but I m not able .. yet
(actually I already am but Id lack some comfort I wouldnt like to give up *blushes*

I'm on coffee again :/

.. reemerging xemacs & the sumo pack.. pitty clomo isnt part of the fuckin 15MB sumo pack *rolleyes*

..
...
.....

ok, I give up for today
I managed to get a wierd but relatively expected screen
so YAY
& ..
More Tomorow!

Sleeeeeep

Dreams

.. I remember a dream I had this night..
or at least am starting to remember it

Seems that my mind s still in places I tought I left behind (gave up) a while ago.. :/
hm :s

The party on Friday was FUN! Really Evil
The games on Saturday were fun too.. First we played "Beer Money" - surprisingly Nice and then we had a "Zombies!!" fest :D hehe.. Played for about 4 hours & .. yeah, it was Fun :) I came close to winning in the middle and did a miraculous come back in the end, so that I surprisingly won..
Nice game! But I think Id rather buy Beer money (or lunch money or ..) than Zombies..

Im looking forward to tomorrows Robinson..

And now, Food!

school was ok
Not as interesting as I had hoped tough :(

Spent some money

Spent some nice moments with Anne.. We can still spend enjoyable time together. We can still just be together & talk as we used to. Its nice to know a girl who knows you & above all accepts you as you are! This on the other hand shows how I close myself in normal social contact. Amazing. At any rate, I need someone like that around on a full time base :) Not Anne ofcourse! That moment is gone for the both of us.. She seems very happy with her curent bf.. A nice match!

I finally have decent file explorers.. of wich 2 3d versions :) funny!
This means I can clean up my mess my home dir!!
I still have loads of work to do :/ GIFT, Samba, Sound, .....

RoD meeting was fun..

Sleep now :D

Warcraft - The Boardgame (WC for short ;))

Cool game!
played from 12 till 3 with Stitch

Evil!
The game shifted constantly
Stitch had me at a point where I wasnt even sure if it mattered if we played the next round (but we did & the game turned around again).. it was Nice! And amazingly tough it looked bad at times, I even won (exhaustion race with resources & stuff..)
Has a degree of luck involved too

I kinda want more scenarios :D
& am looking forward to playing the 3 plyr Tree of Lordacil scenario :D

AND I'm looking forward to the expansion version!

And now, Sleepy timeaaah

The un easy feeling has gone, tough just beyond eyesighty.. anywho, thats cool
the pain wont go leave me be, but thats normal, given (much) time that ll ease too
& the malaise.. :/ well, that s not gone either but it ll take less time than the pain, so :D or at least I hope so

I'm FUCKIN bussy these days!
I wanted today to do some important shite (like school) but since I promissed jack to help Tinne tonight, my plans are crossed once again! Aarghl! I hope I'm able to do what I'm supposed to :( Altough I KNOW I wont be able to :(
I want to play WC!!!!!
And the next days will be equally bussy so :'(

Yesterday was fun! Onvrije Schipper, Polle Polle, Casa di Kaishi, .. fun!

Ohh, I just read Shell's blog & she copied the Bloody Long Questionaire.. Its interesting :D

Blah!
Reboot to my new kernel!!
& read some
& FINALLY get working on that comp I have waiting here!
ah & I might even put the sides back on my box!!!! :D

a questionaire I found at glitterplagues Deviant Art journal

IN ONE TRY..TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR:

FINGERS: gert
CHIN: tgerrerty
ONE FINGER WITH EYES CLOSED: gert
CHEEK: tgert(tc
ELBOW: tgerrtft
LIPS: grrt
PALM: gertr
BACK OF HAND: ggert
NOSE: t"'(
TONGUE: gert

-----------------DESCRIBE---------------
YOUR HERITAGE: eh??? ehrm - Belgian?
THE SHOES YOU WORE TODAY: none so far (but probably Blue DVS)
YOUR EYES: No Clue.. blueish? Greenish? Red in the picture on my fact sheet..
YOUR WEAKNESS: memorising things
YOUR FEARS: losing limbs
ONE THING YOU'D LIKE TO ACHIEVE: to uphold the luxuary I like :D

-----------------WHAT IS------------------
YOUR THOUGHTS FIRST WAKING UP: Aaarrghl!!!!
THE FIRST FEATURE YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: Piercings
YOUR BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE: Lips (someone once told me.. long time ago - I dont believe her)
YOUR BEDTIME: ehrm.. from 10 at night till 11 in the morning
YOUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: ehrm :s
YOUR MOST MISSED MEMORY: wierd enough my dad :(

-----------------YOU PREFER------------------
PEPSI OR COKE: They both taste like crap
MCDONALD'S OR BURGER KING: McD
SINGLE OR GROUP DATES: Single
ADIDAS OR NIKE: Whatever
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Chocolate
CAPPUCCINO OR COFFEE: Coffee (as a mather of fact.. naah too late)

-----------------DO YOU------------------
SMOKE: Motherfuckin Hell NO!
CUSS: Eh?
TAKE A SHOWER EVERYDAY: during summer.. Winter, every other day
HAVE A CRUSH(ES): sadly enough yes :( Just one tough
WHO ARE THEY: Doesnt mather
DO YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN IN LOVE?: Yes
WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE: I am in college
LIKE HIGH SCHOOL: I had fun there
WANT TO GET MARRIED: jup
TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS: Whetever key I strike is the right one!
GET MOTION SICKNESS: I used to
THINK YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE: .. no
THINK YOU'RE A HEALTH FREAK: Nop :D
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: yeah
LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: A Lot - but not when I need to use the comp
PLAY AN INSTRUMENT: not really

------------IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU--------------
DRANK ALCOHOL: Jup
SMOKE(D): NO
DONE A DRUG: Jup (alcohol = drug!)
HAVE SEX: no :'(
MADE OUT: no :'(
GO ON A DATE: nope
GO TO THE MALL: the mall.. we dont have that all too much in Belgium
BEEN ON STAGE: Life is a stage :)
BEEN DUMPED: luckely no
GONE SKATING: .. no
MADE HOMEMADE COOKIES: Nope
BEEN IN LOVE: maybe yeah
DYED YOUR HAIR: No way :) I like blonde too much
STOLEN ANYTHING: No

-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
FLOWN ON A PLANE: yes
MISSED SCHOOL BECAUSE IT WAS RAINING?: ehrm.. dont think so (its belgium, it ALWAYS rains)
TOLD A GUY/GIRL THAT YOU LIKED THEM?: Countless times
CRIED DURING A MOVIE?: .. no, I dont easilly REALLY cry
EVER THOUGHT AN ANIMATED CHARACTER WAS HOT?: I love Manga :D (asin YES)
HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND: ehrm.. dont think so.. eh.. AH! Yes :D
BEEN ON STAGE?: Yes :)
CUT YOUR HAIR: Who hasnt .. oh wait.. What hair :s .. Whatever, Who hasnt :D
HAD CRUSH ON A TEACHER?: ehrm.. kinda
PLAYED A GAME THAT REQUIRED REMOVAL OF CLOTHING? wierd enough not
BEEN TRASHED OR EXTREMELY INTOXICATED.. Several times already (auch!)
BEEN CAUGHT "DOING SOMETHING": jup *blush*
BEEN CALLED A TEASE: Yeah & I Like it :D hehe
GOTTEN BEATEN UP?: not really
BEEN IN A FIGHT: yeah.. altough I really didnt want to :(
SHOPLIFTED: No :) (actually really No :D)

-----------------THE FUTURE------------------
AGE YOU HOPE TO BE MARRIED: late 20s
NUMBERS AND NAMES OF CHILDREN: .. between 0 & 2 and ehrm.. something nice tough wierd
DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: .. :s
HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE?: quick, painless, messy
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?: Happy
WHAT COUNTRY WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT?: .. ehrm .. Cuba s high on the list

-----------------OPPOSITE/SAME SEX------------------
BEST EYE COLOR: Blue (whatever really)
BEST HAIR COLOR: Blonde (natural pls :D)
SHORT OR LONG HAIR: Long hair
BEST HEIGHT: 1.75 :D (its an observation, not a choice)
BEST WEIGHT: not too thin (!!) not too heavy :)
BEST FIRST DATE LOCATION: first date ? :s
BEST FIRST KISS LOCATION: .. Anywhere really, its the person & the mood that count

-----------------NUMBER OF-----------------
NUMBER OF BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS YOU'VE HAD: only counting serious ones, 5
NUMBER OF KISSES YOU'VE GIVEN: Who s counting
NUMBER OF DRUGS TAKEN ILLEGALLY: eh? ehrm.. 2?
NUMBER OF PEOPLE I COULD TRUST WITH MY LIFE: quite a lot I think
NUMBER OF PIERCINGS: 1
NUMBER OF TATTOOS: 0
NUMBER OF TIMES MY NAME HAS APPEARED IN THE NEWSPAPER?: No clue
NUMBER OF SCARS ON MY BODY: too much to count
NUMBER OF THINGS IN MY PAST THAT I REGRET: nothing that I'm responsible for

----------------FAVORITES---------------
SHAMPOO: Tahiti Black
FAV COLOR: red, yellow
DAY/NIGHT: Night
SUMMER/WINTER: both
LACE OR SATIN: Lace
FAVE CARTOON CHARACTER: .. Gally maybe, or Yoko..
FAVE FOOD: Chocolate, Tasty spicy food, meat, ..
FAVE MOVIES: Ehrm, difficult question.. The ghost in the shell, Moulin Rouge, Alien, James Bond, The Village, ..
FAVE SPORT: Snowboarding :D

----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
WEARING: Black Venoms, some Tshirt, Carhartt pullover
DRINKING: nothing :(
THINKING ABOUT: sleeping
LISTENING TO: The radio - Stu Bru

---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
CRIED: No
WORN JEANS: Yes - Venom (its simply very baggy jeans)
MET SOMEONE NEW ONLINE: ehrm.. yeah, he was new to me online tough I already knew him irl - Tubby
DONE LAUNDRY: Nope
DROVE A CAR: Nope
TALKED ON THE PHONE: too much :(

---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
YOURSELF: Yes
YOUR FRIENDS: uhu - yeah
SANTA CLAUS: ofcourse
TOOTH FAIRY: :s we dont have her here :)
DESTINY/FATE: .. no
ANGELS: I know some Angelic girls :)
GHOSTS: .. nope
UFO'S: yes (them simply being Unidentified Flying Objects, asin anything flying I cant put a name on)
GOD: nope

--------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
DO YOU EVER WISH YOU HAD ANOTHER NAME?: nope
DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND?: no
DO YOU LIKE ANYONE?: Yeah
WHICH ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ACTS THE MOST LIKE YOU?: cant put a name to it
WHO HAVE YOU KNOWN THE LONGEST OF YOUR FRIENDS?: .. Tom & Dirk I guess
ARE YOU CLOSE TO ANY FAMILY MEMBER?: hm.. close
WHO DO YOU HANG AROUND THE MOST?: ehrm.. John, Stitch, Dirkie, ..
WHEN HAVE YOU CRIED THE MOST: When Anne dumped me I guess.. No, I cried worse when my dad died.. Anne just seems worse because it was public..
WHAT'S THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: making Love to someone (not sex, mind you.. love!)
WORST FEELING?: .. my back to 15 moods
WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?: ehrm .. 5.13 in the morning

-------------------CURRENT-------------- -----
CURRENT MOOD: Sleepy
CURRENT MUSIC: Stu Bru commercials
CURRENT TASTE: neutral
CURRENT HAIR: Blonde dreadlocks
CURRENT ANNOYANCE: my right arm
CURRENT SMELL: neutral
CURRENT THING I OUGHT TO BE DOING: Sleeping!!
CURRENT WINDOWS OPEN: gAIM, Xterm, Glitterplagues DA, my Blogger acc
CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE: Gunnm bg
CURRENT BOOK: Tanya Huff - Scholar of Decay (a ravenloft book)
CURRENT JOB: Student

--------------DO YOU EVER/HAVE----------------
A DREAM THAT KEEPS COMING BACK?: .. not that I can remember
REMEMBER YOUR FIRST LOVE?: Yes
STILL LOVE HIM/HER: No
READ THE NEWSPAPER?: sometimes
BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE TO REMAIN FAITHFUL FOREVER?: .. I do think so yes
CONSIDER YOURSELF TOLERANT OF OTHERS?: Yes
CONSIDER LOVE A MISTAKE?: no
LIKE THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL?: No
HAVE A FAVORITE CANDY?: yes
DO WELL IN SCHOOL?: honestly - no
WEAR HATS?: no
CLOSE FRIENDS?: yes
WISH ON STARS?: No
LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?: ehrm.. I myself do :D
CARE ABOUT LOOKS?: honestly? yes I do..

---------------LOVE AND STUFF----------------
GAY? STRAIGHT? BI? NULL?: Straight .. altough .. isnt everyone slightly bi?
FIRST CRUSH: ehrm
EVER BEEN IN A THING CALLED LOVE?: yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?: .. almost
DO YOU BELIEVE IN "THE ONE?": the one as in neo? (in the footprints of Lara & Jena)

..............ARE YOU A..................
WUSS: nope
DRUGGY: No
DAYDREAMER: .. yes
FREAK: some say I am
DORK: I'm a docter, scotty, not a damn dork!
BITCH/ASSHOLE: .. actually no
BRAT: .. no :D
SARCASTIC: When needed :D
SHY: seldom
TALKATIVE: sometimes
ADVENTUROUS: hehe, jup!
JOKER: .. I guess so

................LAST (THANK GOD)...............
LAST BOOK YOU READ: Chet Williamson - Mordenheim (Again, a Ravenloft book)
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW: The Village
LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK: Lipton Ice Tea Punch
LAST TIME YOU SHOWERED: ehrm .. Yesteday
LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE: Stitch

.. whow, what a questionaire - lol
and now.. SLEEEP :D

Template Changes

yeah, so I did the changes (finally)
As you can see I now have a Title and a Link part.. Both optional and working
yay

I should really recompile my kernel.. Funny how I never them right the first time! Once again I added the annoying priority shifting crap, making my X feel very windows like under stress (but preform better in important processes because they get the most processor time yada yada best for desktops my asssss!) Gimme the "Everyone s Equal" way (best for servers & other crap TM) I'll probably even screw up burn processes this way! - dont want to find out! Anywho, its ANOYING!

Compiling on 2 virtual TTYs over SSH at the moment.. yay

I helped Jack with his comp today - more yay

I unpacked & read trough Warcraft The Boardgame today - funfun

blah

I should really fix the link thingy

Dominique (tnx to Shell)
Very inventive & Cool thingy!

And the girl in the graphics is attractive too :D

Im tired

Today was a Successfull day!
The games fair was gun
I got myself "Warcraft - The board game"
We had an Absolytely EVIL place - We Impressed!
Ah & for the first time in my life - I saw Cosplayers :D (I mostly know the concept from the Real Life commic..) They were funny :D A very atractive elf as Legolas (yum) and a girl doing Lara Croft (yum) amongst others ofcourse :D And I should add that I was there for RoD, wich is a Larp organisation :)
OOoooooh & I drrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooled on the new White Wolf gear :D "Mage: The Ascension - Ascension" to complete my mage collection (as far as Im interested that is, there s a lot more but thats just too much for me) and ofcourse the new "World of Darkness" base book :D SO cool :D I scarecely could contain myself - luckely for me the WC board game was cooler, so I quickly bought that one, before I could do silly stuff (like buying all 3, thus spending about €85 instead of €44)

And :)
Dirkie was absolutely Suprised and Happy with the ppl there (or at least he said so several times at different moments) Tough I said id drive him & in the end I got more drunk than he did (2 guiness in an hours (maybe 30m) can fell a man :/)
Wich on ist own makes it a succesfull day (the dirkie part, not the booze part)
There were a load of ppl, around.. easilly 20.. More like 25, but not 30 (you see where I'm getting at.. :))

I got Vi slightly angry at me today.. Ironically purely out of concern.. I might try to explain that to her one day :s I probably will next time I get to chat to her :) Or when she does my dreadies some day..

Met the cooles guy today :) EVIL dreadies - 12j old.. cool cool! Gave me hope for dreadfull employment too. A GW guy.. Bought me a HotDog too.. I was UTTELRY surprised he actualy did! Cool person!

Anywho, I'm off to bed, my back muscles hurt like Hell
& I want to read the WC - BG manual :D

Cu later kiddies!
Sleep Tight & kisses to the person who doesnt expect it :) (you can tell there s still alcohol in my blood.. Otherwise I NEVER would have written something as silly as this - Its my overly romantic self comming up again)

Look out with Kanji, be sure before putting it somewhere!

This site explains it all So well :D

Did a sex check (tnx to shell, check the linx for her blog).. Interesting..

Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz

life IS cruel

Recognising XF86 for the bitch that it is!
AARGHL HOW I HATE WRITING THAT CONFIG FILE
Its such a BITCH
A Hatefull waste of time
& thinking that I have an operative version of the file on my regular box
Bweurgh

Facts in Love & Life..
I'm truely starting to doubt that I'll be able to dedicate myself to someone..
bweuh

omg.. Agony
Hmm.. coffie for my Blistered soul!!
I'm sick.. :/ Simply the flu but still..

Im doing my new Linux.. A gentoo & am now at the stage where I install a SHITLOAD of software (part one).. The next 24h will be filled with compiling & downloading.. yay
My former linux is broken.. One of my disks crashed and now its cripple. It was the disk with my /var, /tmp and swap on.. The tmp & swap pose no problem, but the /var missing is a BITCH!
Luckely it happened just now when I'm changing to Gentoo.. Otherwise there d be a whole lot of cursing right now :D
Ofcourse Id rather have my Slack box fully working during the transition period.. Im not changing my home disk till everythings ok anyhow..

Its annoying not being able to relate all the wierd stuff hapening to my dad.. Its agonising. We understood and had the same & right background.. Now that he s gone im left alone with all that. Now when wierd shite / funny shite happens (several times during my install today) I'm laughin here all alone.. One of the many moments where it kicks in :/

The worst form of torture is self chosen.. Really.. Its amazing what a person can put himself trough.. I'm deciding to stop putting myself trough it all.. Ofcourse, its normal I didnt decide this before, since every form needs its time.. Anywho, Im only trading it for another kind.. pf

I had a dark moment yesterday..
I have lots of dark moments to come..
Havent we all :)
pf

Had an interesting chat with a friend some days ago.. His words gave me hope altough they went against all I had concluded.. I dont really believe he made the right diagnose..

Spoke to Anne today.. Interesting! It helped my mood. Im actually immensely happy we talked! .. she s the person I can relate to most right now.. Because I know she knows the feeling and because I shared some of her feeling back when the trees were younger. Im really glad we talked

Sometimes I feel like telling people to go kill themselves.. This feeling is not new to me tough I had left it behind me.. Now that i'm older I understand the reasons better.. But understanding doesnt help the fact that I want to scream it in their ears as if that ll get it to their brain better

Dark Moods

I do think blogging helps
tough I hope in a way no one reads this.. The annonimity of Internet.. or is it :)

Hmm.. Emerging in two terminals.. why not. I'm installing tinycobol to my box.. I hope it proves a good Cobol compiler - Yeah, going retro @ school :D I hope the compiler proves OK.. Further installs (emacs & ..) will have to wait :)

How hatefull it is to wake up to your own soap

And now I'm off bloggin..
sayonara

Aliens was once again POWERFULL :)
Tough I think Giger could have done cooler stuff with the mother alien..

My body hurts from the festival.. Painfull
Tough it reminds you you're alive :)

No cobol for me tomorrow, I'll learn it from here..
& install my Gentoo with Coboll interpreter

I'm going to think about a small variation on Alanis Morisette's "21 things I want in a lover"

Original Text..
do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
do you have a big intellectual capacity
but know that it alone does not equate wisdom?
do you see everything as an illusion?
but enjoy it even though you are not of it?
are you both masculine and feminine?
politically aware?
and don't believe in capital punishment?
these are 21 things that I want in a lover
not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
do you derive joy from diving in and seeing
that loving someone can actually feel like freedom?
are you funny? à la self-deprecating?
like adventure? and have many formed opinions?

these are 21 things that I want in a lover
not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
these are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
there are no worries and certainly no pressure
in the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow

are you uninhibited in bed?
more than three times a week?
up for being experimental?
are you athletic?
are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
are you not addicted?

...curious and communicative...

Im not sure yet how many things mine ll have but It ll be a List..
hehe
or maybe I wont - whatever

Im only now fully begining to appreciate Alanis Morisette's song "Ironic"
Sometimes life really is

Im starting to miss my Gaim Blogger plugin!
Loading & posting times sometimes on the blogger site :s

I finished "Tower of Doom", the Ravenloft novel I was reading & have now started "Mordenheim".. Another Ravenloft novel :D

Rock Ternat..
Yesterday was Festival day :) Didnt start off so well by missing Caliban & Flip Kowlier (the first because they were only added to the line up the same day..) What I DID see..

Orichas - Only shortly.. ok tough slightly dissapointing
God Forbid - EVIL! Gotta get me some of 'em cds :D
Dead Kenedys - Old geezers with NICE soundz (& a funny pitt)
Machine head - Evil! Great pitt & all.. If only John hadnt CHICKEDED OUT (Wanker)
Kosheen - Great as ever, Dance the night away
2 Many DJs - Crap.. Bad DJing & partly also bad speakers
Starsky & Tonic - Crap.. Bad DJing & partly also bad speakers (We didnt even finish this)

A very succesfull festival day :)
I am hurting everywhere tough :/
Funny thing - yesterday evening was the first time Everyone we drove home with felt tired.. LOL!

Had some other funny moments too.. David came to ask me if I fancied his girl & stuff like that :) Cute! Tough he shouldnt worry & I just hope he doesnt!!!


In a way.. I'm feeling very .. right now. ".." because I just cant find the right word for it & certainly not in english (They just all miss part of the message) - Anypoop, its all but a nice feeling :( But Ive known it before & I'll know it again so I'll cope with it :D

& now time for food & ....

I got WONDERFULL news just hours ago.. Several seperate things actually :)
One of them being a pic of the lovely Hannah Odessa :) Ashes' new born girl. She s beautifull :) That also means the birth & all went well, wich is SO cool :) I worried about em :s a lot! I didnt even tell about my dad yet :s I didnt want to upset ashes in any way so close to The Day!

Feelings.. Right now I feel..
Dissapointed
Relieved
Concerned
Happy
Envious
Woried

So very Alive!

Im off to bed! Early noon tomorrow :(

amazing

I guess deep down inside I really am very sensitive a person
but due to society I have a cozy shell, cushoning it all & protecting it all from society!

tough the real happyness can only be found trough the TRUE form
:s

What a revelations tonight..
It was brooding but didnt really come out till after the ride home

amazing

I sometimes say.. "As crazy as I am"
well, tonight I found out what I mean by that
& that it actually DOES exist

peace of mind is beatiful

I had a LOVELY night
I'd never expected it but still.. Lovely!
Tnx to David & Vi..

.. I had a wierd insight..
Its been long ago since I last had a Really active happy feeling :)
most ppl just cant cope with that but tonight in seeing the feeling, it sparked again..
amazing that I lost that.. Amazing & bothersome

Lets try to remedy this :)

& now a short nights sleep

Ah yes..
blogger is slow sometimes.. making me not wanting to wait ergo not posting

School is ok

Private life is nice too tough I am bracing my feelings
I have a zero tollerance mood at some points

& I HEAVILLY need a shower!

Later on RoD & getting those Rock Ternat tickets to Vi..

ah & school work too
& movie time :D

Ah yes..
blogger is slow sometimes.. making me not wanting to wait ergo not posting

School is ok

Private life is nice too tough I am bracing my feelings
I have a zero tollerance mood at some points

& I HEAVILLY need a shower!

Later on RoD & getting those Rock Ternat tickets to Vi..

ah & school work too
& movie time :D

My fate in humanity has been restored
I met an Evil girl this weekend :) They do still exist! (except the ones I know, you know who you are :D) Really nice person! Saw her again this evening @ the afterlife, we had fun

I saw the "Set-Up" @ ternat today..
Nice place!

Im so done for :/ School @ 10.30 ? I dont think so!
& I really SHOULD!!

Sleep!

im having troubles updating my template :s
anywho, its altered with the new links

Im really starting to miss Dirk
ANNOYING!

The life was Awsome
The people were great & I had an overall Good time!
Met some nice people too.. A girl with a mind for piercings amongst others..
Nice
Had some interesting experiences too :s :D
Im looking forward to the next life!

Updating some iPod

Im out of the JH.. kinda.. The departure didnt really go as I had wanted but its ok.. The result is the same! Tough this unforseen way is in a way a consequence of my dad dying

I parked my car in his spot today.. Uncanning.. Really wierd! Kinda permanent & stuff! It will be good for my car tough.. I have some work to do on it & well.. Its probably gonna happen sooner this way

I saw Rebecca today.. Nice talking to her again!

Im so Tired :/
I slept 4hrs today & .. well.. lets just say the 8 hrs ive got comming will do me some Serious GOOD

I talked to Les on the internet today.. Seems she s gonna be in a TV program next week.. GOTTA tape it :)

And now for some other work & SLEEEEEP

Testament..
This weekend was a Life weekend.. And I had FUN :)
We went with 14 Ring of Doom ppl & .. Evilness!

More later

Sleep now :)

Testament..
This weekend was a Life weekend.. And I had FUN :)
We went with 14 Ring of Doom ppl & .. Evilness!

More later

Sleep now :)

Testament..
This weekend was a Life weekend.. And I had FUN :)
We went with 14 Ring of Doom ppl & .. Evilness!

More later

Sleep now :)

Testament..
This weekend was a Life weekend.. And I had FUN :)
We went with 14 Ring of Doom ppl & .. Evilness!

More later

Sleep now :)

omg.. AGAIN I am confronted with wierd american toughts..
Each vote for Kerry puts the U.N. that much closer to running our country. Do you want France or Russia to dictate our foreign policy?
I would like the world to be considered ONE nation, ONE planet instead of how much different countries! And still there are ppl saying & thinking Shite like that?? DAMN Incredible

The quote came out of the loads of hatemail sent to a woman who put the back of her head up on EBay to have ppl bid to pay her to have an anti bush tattoo on the back of her head.. Sounds a wierd and commercial thing to do, but I must say, she explains it trough her beliefs & .. yeah, i can respect her way of expressing it!
The afore mentioned comment is btw marked as being a negative comment (she doesnt agree with it)
Check the link :)

All & all a good article! The political note is a bit wierd at some time tough, but its ok.. I like the expression.. & I like the message :D lol (yeah, what can I say.. the fucker - Bush - is well capable of bombing any country in the world without any apparant reason, People like that ruling a big part of the world like America is just plain dangerous! A liability!)

Ah & for ppl reading this with Graphic skillz.. She s interested in cover up designs in case Bush loses.. so as she said.. Print it & start doodling on it :D Again, Click the link!!
& to all americans reading this.. GO VOTE! Its your RIGHT - dont let any reason take that RIGHT from you!


Ooh & I read that Shell is indeed a woman (not a girl anymore, so it seems.. - unless you still consider yerself a girl in wich case pls DO comment.. We re only as old as we are in our minds :D), 29yrs old with a 7yr old child :)

Went to Gent for my school thing to get some papers
had some fun @ chocolate bar & stuff
showered
Listening to the new Joe Cocker album (my mom bought)
Reading Akira part 2, the dutch version
finished Gunnm: the last order part 4 (Niiiiiiiiceeee!)
just ate some pasta
sleepy time

I should really update my template tough :/
I need to add the blog I created earlier
& desperately need to add the shellibells blog.. She seems such a nice girl/woman.. Read it :D

Wont be online the next couple o days.. School Breakin Party @ Johns tomorrow, Life this weekend.. Gonna be SO TIRED on Sunday :/

school was quite fun
Dorm Daze is a COOL movie
I finished my lates Ravenloft (The Enemy Within) Great Book!! Thrilling read!
Im starting on Gunnm: The last order
I hear Kirill 's latest cd today (at least 3x), Its AMAZING (get it!!! NOW! HERE!!!
updated my Ipod some
had a nice (& long) phone call with Larissa

Sleep now
& sleep late tomorow!!

so.. @ school.. I cant get Combi (meaning doing 2 yrs together) bc I failed for a total weight of 16 & the max for cummul is 15.. Asin BITCH :/
But I can do a Freaky heavy IAJ & to be honest its quite a relief since that ll buy me more space any way.. So IAJ here I come :)
I'm already feeling more optimistic again

I'm tired now tough.. I couldnt sleep till after 3, had to be up at 7 (leave home at 7.15, so..) and .. well it hurt :) So I slept for 2 hrs (hurting all over), then watched Robinson (I think its called Survivor in English speaking countries) and called some with Stitch for advice on my IAJ

And now, i'm off to bed, for an exhilliarating day tomorow (or whatever) The brighter side is that I dont have to be in lessons before 12.30, meaning I wont go to gent before 11 or what, anywho, I can sleep some more :) yay

The last weeks I have had the comfort of sleep.. I only NEED 3hrs a night to function 100% but I really enjoy 12 hrs :) hehehe

Oh & I got Gunnm: The last order 4 :D I'm SOOOO Curious
But I think I'll finish my Ravenloft book first.. Patience :D Wont be that hard tough since its a REALLY Interesting read!!

Im still really happy bout my iPod btw :D

Pf
having a bweuh period
I feel I should help @ the JH but when it comes to it I feel more like sleeping or possibly doing other stuff than.. Actually I dont really feel like doing anything..
And we all know what that means :s

Im worrying about school & shite too
pf

Do I want to quit school because I feel bweuh or do I feel bweuh because I havent quit school yet..
I think the first option but I kinda believe the later..

Livin la vida
one day at the time

I have my school stuff.. PAIN :/

Ok, so I made a mistake :)
The link posted below is Sarah's Fishermans Friend picture..
My last dev (stitch aproved by now) is Defining Reality - Eyes! I eddited it quite some times before I was happy with it, but this is it! The original can still be found amongst my Scraps

depressing period
My mood is down the drain

Watchin "Home on the Range"
even thats depressing
tough it has Mighty Funny Moments Yall Hafta Recon :D
The fact that they keep the dialogues the same every movie & the main setting & .. is getting quite bothering tough :/ The only thing that they change is the FUCKIN THEME! The Theme Music btw, isnt all that memorable either
The scheme has something funny & cunning (lol) tough.. Amazingly enough..

I did a deviation.. Check it out here! I donty know If I'll keep it on tough since Stitchy hasnt seen it yet & since its his eyes..

I wanted to take a long hot shower.. It d have done GOOOD but when I was finally ready to go, the family was about to go to sleep.

I hope tomorow ll be fun @ Gent :/
Dont know what transport I'll use tough..

Funny site passed on to me by John.. This is the output (translated from THIS VERY BLOG!!!)
..
Ok, got y all worked up for nothing.. it doesnt output Anything & hey, look, I dont feel like trying again. Anywho, the output I saw generated when the url was passed on to me was quite hillarious

On other news..
The Bourne Supremacy is NICE :)
Im getting myself some FREE posters from Vespasius.. You know, the toilet poster ppl :)

& I might me falling apart.. I think :/
I need some time on my own
but its not likely I'm getting it any time soon since my family needs their grief process too.. & pitty for anti social me, theirs is quite social.. And ofcourse, I'm only anti social when it comes to my own problems.. When it comes to anything else (like helping others) I'm social as hell & ... But this time its just too hard to manage, too hard to stay sane!

I want to go to bed early today..
A failed effort ofcourse, but still.. I 'm trying

Mage was Nice
We all had fun..
And the scenario didnt get into to way (:s)

Sleep now!

Emotional Chess

The game one has to win to be able to talk with a person about his problems / feelings / emotions
Some ppl are better players than others, in both roles

I need to get outa here
I'm silently going insane
My mom thinks I should stay in out of respect
I've been staying in out of respect to her all week long
I AM going insane
this is really bad for my mood & what not

I cant do anything, I dont have any privacy
I wanna do something and be able to be alone doing something if needed

maddening

we read the cards.. Im glad its over.. Liquid Agony!


I HATE being forced into Other peoples ways of mourning! Wich is exactly what I've been going trough the whole last week. No space whatsoever for my own process..

So far the funeral
I'm glad its over
I was really happy & sometimes surprised at all my friends that came! Altough the last person to enter was the bigest suprise of all! I hadnt expected Dorien to be there but I'll probably be happy for the comming days just because of it :)

I'll write something about all that later on

Omg!
I just read a BME article.. (check link) A follow up on Todd Bertrang being put to jail..

The American Justice System is an OUTRAGE!
Justice like that propagates the conformity that drives people to all want to look alike to the extremety of cosmetic surgery. (Conformity vs "body mods" but pro cosmetic surgery.. Isnt that a body mod too??)

The things they do, tricks they do to put and keep a man in jail!! Outrageous! Even to the extent of child porn allegations. Allegations a person has to prove himself innocent of. Whatever happened to innocent untill proven different??
"Guilty until proven Innocent" Justice you say?

DAMN I LIKE EUROPE!

Sow

The funeral is in some hours.. yay
Washed my dreadz for the ocasion

ROD meeting was nice.. Nice mood
short visit to Nega..
My social skilz werent all that.. I just wasnt up to the bullshit. I just wasnt there, I didnt feel like it..

Talking to dirkie about the JH..

& Sleep now

I finally had the courage of informing some online ppl, like my class (board) and the WFRP guys (EMail)

Been getting loads of smses from unexpected ppl.. I'm glad my cell had this 60 something messages memory! Nice tough to hear from them!

My mom found my black *replace by correct word for nice shirt like thingy with buttons in te front middle, all way down* in the winter clothing (She put it there accidently) So I dont need to go shopping for one :) YAY

My friends are dumb.. They think I'm listening but instead I'm blogging.. They re telling me song names & crap.. The only way I ever hear a word is when Stitch pokes me.. Or when he goes German "Du bist was du ist".. Yeaha

Stitch just read this.. They re all poking me now :s
braindead I fear :s

Sleepy time
We played Bo*poke*mberman earlier.. was amusing!
Warcraft 3 failed tough :/
Movie too

Stitch doesnt know the difference between a normal & a cross link cable
& Dirkie is talking about penetratin cool chicks in informatica

Du riechst so gut
I dont think they understand much what I'm typing
they dont really say mu*poke*ch

Dirkie says Penetration and Fit Blieben
Stitch says Schwanz Blazen
Kneth isnt very talkative.. I think he s doing it all :s

Sleep

Funeral of my Dad
This Saturday @ 11.15
Yall may come along :) :/



My future prospects are .. different with whats happened

I always planned not to stay @ home too long, with my dad & mom around.. To have my own life/place.. So they could have their peace & fun.. On their own.. But now that my dad isnt around anymore, asin alive.. I'll probably stay home longer..

Completely different :S

The worst part is constantly rediscovering my dad is Dead.. I have fun for a while, do some shite (Stitchy was here, fun!) and then one moment, lightning strikes & I remember My Dad Is Dead!

My dad, My father, ..
Incredibly hard

Sleep!

My views on life are about to get a whole lot less interesting (yes, that actually IS possible) since the next weeks I'll be spending my time by bitching about whatever

Mostly about the bad luck my dad had these last days!
There was so much I was doing with him.. Computers, Linux, Drawing, Interhuman Observations, .. I constantly had interesting talks and discussions, in the 30 minutes he drank his koffie before going to bed.. To calm his toughs..
Or when I get home late at night and normally I would find my dad sitting here by the comps, doing something
Those will be the hardest time.. When the others have gone to bed & I'm sitting here, alone.. where normally my dad would still be here.

*cries*

this all is very Surreal!
incredible

The unimaginable has happened..
My dad died this morning..

unbelievable..

had an emotional breakdown today, as expected
I had Rein to help me with it all.. wich I'm very gratefull for! I was down the drain.. Need for affection.. (back to the 14yo)

painfull
I had some interesting conclusions tough

I added a new Blog to my account.. Its called Dgn's Cravings because sometimes an idea hits you but you just dont have the time to act on it.. Well, this is my personal solution to it all

I'll be linkin & templating it soon but thats just too much today.. I need to sleep .. & think :/

Ok, so I dont really feel like bloggin Big..
Rather bloggin SMALL

I had a nice weekend.. Was the Youth House thingy.. we had fun

The homecomming wasnt nearly as nice tough!
My dad had a brain bleeding something. He busted an artery (or something like that) I know the exact thing in Dutch but hey, I ve got better things on my mind than figuring out whats it all called to put it in my blog. Anyhow, its in the speaking part of his brain, he already had surgery for the busted artery and is going to have other surgery soon to make sure it doesnt happen again (he had 2 risky ones, one repaired now) Lets hope this all doesnt end badly :(
Spent the evening talking to my mom (upon arival) and eating some and chatting & calling some friends......
I was quite happy about some ppls reactions, except for one who didnt really seem interested.. Other priorities.. why the fuck not..

Watched some futurama.. The addiction is heavy tough.. I feel like spendin the night with 'em :)
Gotta get some sleep tough.. I'm really tired :/ & I have to get up at 11.30 to visit my dad at the hospital at 1..

Somewhere I might confess to myself that I dont like the idea of going to bed coz I'll have to face some demons there :( In a way, I'm having the scare of my life.. And the bad thing about it is that I cant just relativate it all in saying that in the end, all ll be well again because I'm just slightly too smart to not realise that just isnt true. An interesting yet unwelcome feeling.. On the other hand, isnt it always like that :/

I need to Wake the Fuck up & Smell the Adrenaline
coz I'm not at all productive & its ANNOYING me IMMENSLY
Aarghl

& now.. Sleepah :/

I'm glad that its Ravenloft tomorrow tough

I have NO clue WhatSoEver what causes it (looked at it the full 5secs.. It was very hard to keep my mind on it that long - yeah)

I'll look at it later

I just discovered my blogger template is pooped.. The low part doesnt look ok - too much FFin space down below :/ Annoying

I got a letter from Ashes today :D :D :D
YAY
It had nice postcards with explenations
NICE pictures of her house & ..
& a REALLY nice picture of HERSELF :)
She Rules! & looks Great :)
I 'm looking forward to her baby pics :) & the Budha Belly pic :)
I really should work & save up LoadZa money so I can get to PA!!!

Might be next year we go on vacation in America (family thing) and there would only be One state in between PA & .. eeehrm .. North Carolina.. Yay :D would be between Charlotte & Monroe.. The wrong side of.. but whatever.. I'm SO stealin a car to get to her (or renting or whatever.. I'll be 23 then, cant pose Any problem.. hehe.. ROADTRIP!)

I took an Evil test today..

How evil are you?
Yeah! As I always suspected :D hehehe
I tried to get the other side (Angelic) to know if it was possible and Yeah.. I seem to be Honestly Evil :D Yeah

Futurama = cool

Finished the last Ravenloft book I had here
Bought the first Akira (dutch version - yay) of five.. And all together finished it an hour later :) I like it beter then the movie so far.. Really nice!

The book really got me thinking about alternative story telling, asin drawing a city overview & conversation on it.. Its an old trick but I just hadnt tought about it yet

I was in a Fuckin Trafic Jam - Damned - in driving to school - actually took me 15m longer than my worse case scenario and 15m to persuade the school to let me make my exam. Didnt need em tough.. Too Fuckin Difficult Exam! Aaaarghl! HELL
After that I drove to the center o town and had some shoping fun.. Looking around some, .. 2 hours of Calisto solved my reading & chill needs. I saw Larissa in going home.. It was fun

Saw the Expedition Robinson (survivor in english if im not mistakin') I taped yesterday
Looks NICE, Really COOL :)
The mangrove thingy is just IT :D hihi
I really should participate one day

SNOWBOARD :D
As I told before, I might have an American snowboard brought here and guess What
I Fuckin Managed to choose a certain board & producer from FRANCE!
AARGHL
I really like the Hammer Contact 159

Or the Hammer Contact 162 - probably this one since.. well - a know.. thats about the size I need :D lol (being 1.80 and blah blah - whatever)

GOTTA LOVE THAT BOARD :D YAAY - GOTTA love the Blue :)
With ofcourse Flow bindz :D

And now.. Its about Sleepy time - YEAH
I'm agonisingly tired :(

I had an interesting idea today..

A new way to explain the concept of roleplay to someone alien to it. New means ofcourse new to me :)
The idea came to me when I tought of White Wolf's way of refering to it.. They call it storytelling. I imagined how this might lead the unknowing person to say "ok, tell me a story then".. THE answer to such a question would be that I tell interactive stories.. Stories where I need people to participate and fill the roll of a certain character in for me.
Thus came the idea of explaining roleplay as being an interactive story, told by the DM or Storyteller
So next time when people ask what this roleplay thing is, I'll say, Its all about telling a story! I tell people a story & they participate by filling in some parts. Or sometimes I fill in those parts in someone else 's story :)

I'm Unreasonably PISSED

And grew slightly depressed earlier about Math.. I really dont see any point in pressing on with school! I get burdened by crap I will Never use again, Crap without any significance in life or my future carreer path. Crap that I will be able to look up or code my way around if ever necesary! So what am I losing my time on!
The fact of the mather is that even if I would pass this first year, I will need to pass those courses on a higher level next year, burdening and deemed important by other people!
If my toughts continue on this path, I might quit school even on the unlikely event of me passing this year!

Yees.. And so my plan to study & sleep goes to shite!

After the lovely & interesting Pitta meal I got home, did some whatever & when I was about to shut 'em all down I heard a telltale knock on the window..
Dirkie had entered the building
And so, X hours later I am finally able to shutdown!

Ah & I talked to Tomas & we agreed to go to the Jh Weekend together on Saturday EARLY morning!

Studied some
wasted some time (a lot)

Discovered Expedition Robinson is starting again on Monday
YAY :D
Gonna tape it & watch it after my exam the next day

I saw some cool Giger art yesterday, wich required you to put your eyes off focus to see a 3d image.. And I was actually able to see the image wich quite astounded me.. Not because one needs a special viewing technique but because of my eyes.. Been thinking about it ever since, I really want to see more of those now that I know how to "see" them!

Started a new long term room project today.. Drew eyes & a nose on an a4 & put it on the wall.. Next I'll be adding the body & so on .. but only shards.. Difficult to explain in writing, expecially since I dont know what parts I'll draw & what parts I wont.. Probably gonna be a girl, Sitting, probably hands on her knees, .. So I'll probably draw the knees with the hands on.. I'll see :D

Study some more & Sleeeepy time!

Hehe, too evil!
John got himself a Deviant art acount :D
Yay

Look forward to seeing his devs!!

Today numerous things happened
My sleep got messed up :/ slept from 2.30 till 5.30 & was Clear Awake (utterly discusting) then read till 6, slept 6 till 7 - or at least tried to sleep :/ Went downstairs for chatter & TV in between 7 & 8, then slept till 11 :/ Painfull

Did my exam.. Wich is all I'll say about it.. I dont dare say more!

Pool time @ Johns place.. ParTay :) With a lil terrace afterwards (Calisto)

Then the drive home..
On the way I understood why I drive so agressively with this car..
First of all, I dont like driving it, I cant cruze in it, its made for speed :/ So I want to get at my destination ASAP
Second is that I use that style to keep my guard.. So that I dont dull my reflexes.. Wich happens really fast. Its actually not the reflexes, its my eyes.. I go off focus due to disintrest :/ Its scary so I need to stay awake.. & driving keeps me on guard
Another thing is I like speed, being snowboarder.. Luckely I dont drive like I snowboard! Its my biggest fear each time I get back.. If I drive like I snowboard.. THAT would be agressive driving, reaally! Edgy!

Food was ok when I got home
& now I feel like SLEEPING

Might read @ my book first.. Finish it actually
So YAY, SeeYa

I Finally discovered why in my Big Ass playlist Moby was still able to drive me MAAAAD! I had 18 two times! I lovingly solved that problem :) The next problem ofcourse was what genre to put it on my ipod with.. So I teamed it with Lamb under Ambient.. I'm sure that is NOT what moby (or lamb) are as genre, but suits my needs.. (if anyone can tell me.. & Faithless too)

Tomorow Exam - Bweurgh! gonna sign of here to study some & sleep some
Then get Rein & Then pass that SonOvaBitch Exam - AARGHL

Fruit finally has her 20g iPod :) Yay
she was kinda freakin on it to get it right tough :/

Mine is at 1444 songs, good for 6.42G + about 15G of data.. I'm so glad mine is 40G :D
I'm also getting an iTrip so I can play it to my radio!! :) (really gettin set up - Yeah)

Really REALLY thinking bout washing my dreadz! Maybe tomorow before fetching Rein (She ll probably apreciate it - Hehe)

Still reading "Knight of the Black Rose" & still one bundle o hormones :/ Exam Stress :D hehe